


Impossible Things

by quirkygirl242



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Oneshot (maybe)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 18:07:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1950999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quirkygirl242/pseuds/quirkygirl242
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jenny was just starting to settle into life on the TARDIS when she begins having the strangest dreams - dreams where two words keep showing up over and over again.  Bad Wolf.    She's determined to find out what it all means, even if it requires a bit of sneaking around the TARDIS and confronting her emotionally stunted father.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Impossible Things

**Author's Note:**

> Just a fun oneshot while I'm finishing up a few difficult chapters of Neither Here Nor There. 
> 
> I've played with the idea of writing a sequel to this story, but for now I'm just going to leave it as is. 
> 
> I'd love to know what you think! :0)

The Doctor was engrossed in a book about a branch of mathematics no species without a time sense could comprehend when he felt the brush of consciousness that meant Jenny was awake.  Though his daughter didn’t sleep nearly as much as his human traveling companions, she did seem to need a few hours a night.  She would usually wake in the early hours of the morning and the two of them would meet in the library or console room for what she called “Time Lord Lessons” (or sometimes “Tedious Torture Time” if she found the subject matter to be less than engaging.)  The Doctor closed the book he had been reading and snorted at his daughter’s cheek.  She may have come into being fully formed, but she was still a child in so many ways.  Whining about her lessons was just a piece of that.  Underneath the solider tactics she was programed with she had an innocence about her the Doctor found refreshing.  She met each new world he showed her with awe and excitement and he loved seeing the universe anew through her young eyes.  It was always this way to some extent with all of his companions, but with Jenny it was different…better.  Because she was a part of him.  Because she was his daughter, a miracle anomaly doubling the population of a near extinct race.  

That was also, of course, why she drove him mad with worry.  That innocence and enthusiasm he admired so much seemed to have the downside of getting her into all kinds of trouble.   _Jeopardy friendly!_ He thought to himself.  He took a moment to reflect on the similarities between his daughter and a certain pink and yellow human who’d also had a knack for trouble _._ He wished the two of them could have met, and not only because it would mean Rose wasn’t trapped a universe away.  Thick as thieves they’d be, he was sure.  Probably get him regenerated in record time and it would be so, so worth it.  Anyway,  best not dwell on the impossible.  Especially when he had the interesting conundrum of why Jenny had been awake for ten minutes and hand’t joined him yet to figure out.  She may complain about the lessons, but he suspected that she enjoyed the quiet time together, enjoyed getting to know each other, as much as he did.  It didn’t hurt that he maybe occasionally bribed her with new settings to her sonic screwdriver for good performance when he quizzed her…  

He set the book down on the coffee table and stretched magnificently while running a hand through his already wild hair.  It seemed he had a daughter to wrangle.  Blimey, who would have ever thought.  He smiled and headed toward the galley to see if she was waiting for him there.  He hoped she wasn’t trying to make tea again.  He had tried to show her how last week but she appeared to have inherited his habit of setting things on fire when she tried to cook even the simplest things.  Although even _he_ could usually manage tea ever since Rose had picked up the electric kettle on one of her visits home.  He wondered if he would ever stop missing her.  Donna and especially Jenny helped, but he thought the TARDIS could be filled with hundreds of people and it would still seem empty without Rose.  Which brought him to another reason he enjoyed the early morning lessons with his daughter.  The occupation was an excellent deterrent to the brooding he usually took to at this time of the day.  There was just something about 3:00 AM, even when time was merely an abstract in the TARDIS, that turned one’s thoughts darker. 

Jenny wasn’t in the galley, gym, or any of the three gardens she favored.  He wondered if he should stop by her room and make sure everything was ok, but then he realized he was doing that smothering thing Jenny had warned him about.  Their relationship was still so new and he wasn’t always sure how to act around her.  He supposed he did sometimes give into his protective instincts a little too much, but who could blame him?  He’d lost nearly every person he’d ever cared about in one way or another.  He’d even lost Jenny for a few months before the TARDIS had taken matters into her own hands and landed him back on Messaline where he found a very much still alive Jenny helping with the peaceful colonization of the new world.  

Still, best to give her some space.  He’d just stop by the console room and then head back to the library if she wasn’t there.  Back to advanced mathematics and maybe even a quick kip before Donna woke up.  

 

  He knew Jenny was in the console room when he was still a ways down the hall from the brush of her telepathic presence.  The flickering light probably meant that she was fiddling with the projector again.  And probably using that bloody tablet of hers instead of fiddling with the controls like a proper Time Lord.  Kids and their toys, he mused.  If it had been a month ago he may have worried that she could have mucked something up by playing around in there, but she had quickly shown to be a skilled pilot and mechanic.  Whatever she was doing, he figured it would be safe enough.  He was curious to see what she was up to and eager to start today’s lesson, which he decided would be focused on telepathic skills.  He could tell she was trying to shield her presence from him, but wasn’t quite able to.  But first, he thought, a little fatherly teasing was in order. 

“Jenny, you’re not playing with that tablet again, are you?  I told you, just because it looks cool doesn’t mean…” the Doctor trailed off as he stepped into the room and saw something he hadn’t let himself even wish for.  His hearts stuttered out of their usual metronomic rhythm as he forgot for just a moment that what he was seeing was impossible.  _Rose!_ Then the image flickered and he realized it mere projection.  

 

* * *

 

 

Jenny knew she was in trouble before her dad even opened his mouth.  She’d had somewhat of an idea that he’d be cross with her nosing through the TARDIS database, which was exactly why she had worked hard on her mental barriers before coming here.  It was bloody annoying that her dad always knew exactly where she was.  What was he, some kind of telepathic bloodhound?!  She’d already been interrupted twice when she’d tried to get a few minutes of alone time with the Old Girl and had thought this time she’d finally managed it.  And, perhaps she would have if it had been just a quick information harvest like she had planned.  But as soon as she saw the image projected in front of her, she had not been able to look away.  In fact she was so lost in thought that she’d only had a fraction of a second warning before her dad barged into the console room, jabbering on about the tablet he took offense to her using.  It wasn’t nearly enough time to switch off the projection, but just enough for her to school her features into an innocent smile to greet him with.  Maybe she could play off this being an accident?  But even if she got in a little trouble, at least she had finally gotten some of the information she needed.  (And she’d learned quickly it was always easier to ask forgiveness than permission when it came to her father.)  But as soon as he stepped into the room and saw what she was doing, she realized she had grossly underestimated the magnitude of her indiscretion.

She was still getting to know this mad man who she was created from, but she thought even a stranger could have read the intense emotions that shown on his face in a few moments of rare openness.  First it was hope, and she felt her own smile grow bigger at the way the emotion lit up his face.  She hadn’t seen him look quite that alive since he found her again on Messaline.  But then the projected image flickered and her dad’s face had twisted in pain…and was that grief?  Longing?  Before she could pin the specific emotion down, he had moved on to angry, no, fury.  _Oh bollocks,_ she thought. 

“Jenny!” he barked, his gaze finally tearing away from the projected image making her the focus of all that anger, “What in Rassilon’s name are you doing?!  I told you…I _told_ you that fiddling in here was dangerous!  Are you trying to blow us all up?  Fly us into a black hole, hmmmm?  Files have passwords for a reason, you know!  Some of that information is _dangerous_!  I ask again: what the bloody hell do you think you’re doing!?!”

Jenny gaped at him as he continued to ream her, taken aback by the intensity of his onslaught.  By the time he had yelled himself into activating his respiratory bypass, she was well on her way towards fury herself.  Who the hell did he think he was treating her like she was some rampaging Time Tot with a stollen sonic screwdriver.  She knew what she was doing!  Often times better than he did!  

Taking advantage of him catching his breath she raised her own voice, “I have every right to be here, _Dad_!  I’m not a child, not that you seem to be able to grasp that idea!  For a genius, you can be pretty damn thick, you know.”  His eyes narrowed dangerously at the dig, but at least he let her continue, “I’m being careful and I know what I’m doing.  It’s not like going through databases is all that dangerous, anyway.  And if the TARDIS really is my home like you said, I have every right to be here!  Or have I overstayed my welcome?” she asked, hand on her hip and head cocked in a challenge.  

It was a low blow, but she was so furious at him right now.  First it was weeks of him treating her like a toddler and now he was blowing up at her when all she did was hack into a few little files.  Who exactly was that hurting?!?  _Well…him_ , she thought, some of the anger fading as she remembered how upset he had looked before he started with all the yelling.  And in light of what she now knew, she supposed that could make sense…still, that didn’t give him the right to treat her that way.  Why couldn’t he ever just _talk_ to her?       

The Doctor sighed and seemed to deflate in front of her eyes, “Jenny, of course this is your home.  Of course I want you here.  And you can never outstay your welcome.  You’re my daughter.  That doesn’t change even when I get cross.”

“Even when you get _really_ cross?” she chanced a smile and bit of cheek.  

“Even when you blow up the microwave and rearrange books in the library,” he nodded at her, very nearly slowing a hint of a smile himself.  Oh she _so_ had him.

“Even when I get nail polish on the console?”

Her dad puffed out a breath that was almost a laugh, “Well, I think you’ll have to take that up with the Ol’ Girl, but I’m sure she’ll forgive you.  She hasn’t ejected you out into a supernova yet, so I think it looks promising.  In fact, I’m sure she’ll give you back your nail polish any day now.”

“Oh, we’re thick as thieves, us girls,” Jenny patted a coral strut fondly, her hand adorned with freshly lacquered nails, “She did translate the database to English for me, after all.”

“Was wondering about that.  For a bit there I thought you were the universe’s fastest Gallifreyan learner,” her dad smiled before continuing more seriously, “ Listen, Jenny, I’m…er…sorry?  Yes.  I’m sorry.  I guess I’m just not used to sharing space.  Just…turn the projection off and we’ll go start today’s lesson, eh?  I was able to sneak up on you, and that should never happen with your telepathic capacity.  We’ll need to work on that a bit.  Now c’mon.  Allons-y.”  

Jenny was almost taken in by his misdirection, but at the last second the projection caught her eye and she remembered why she was here in the first place.  She had hoped to know more before confronting her dad, but that cat was sort of half out of the bag already.  It was now or never.  

“Dad,” she called him back from where he had already started down the hall to the library.  He poked his head back into the room and she continued before she lost her nerve “Who is she?” Jenny asked gesturing to the woman in the projection.

“Jenny…” there was a warning in his voice, but she pressed on.

 “Look I’m sorry I’m snooping.  I’m sorry I hacked through the passwords.  I know some things are private, but Dad, there’s things I need to know and you never _talk_ to me.  Not really.”

 Her dad walked slowly to stand beside her and they both stared at the flickering image. “So I’ve been told,” he sighed finally.  “Jenny, someday when you’re old like me, you’ll understand.  Being long lived…it’s not always a blessing.  You loose so many people.  Pretty soon the past becomes painful and the only way to keep on is to, well…compartmentalize I guess you could say.”

“And by that you mean forget and lock the memories away in the TARDIS database.”  Jenny realized she was pushing her luck and bit her lip as she waited for his response.  She was relieved when he snorted a laugh.

“Yeah, suppose that’s another way to look at it,” he was quiet for a long time.  “Her name was Rose Tyler,” he finally said, nodding towards the projection.  

Jenny rolled her eyes, “I know that dad.  I can read, you know.  But who was she?  To you?  All I got a chance to read was that she traveled with you a few years ago.”

She looked over at her dad and saw that he was tense, like he wanted to bolt out of the room.  “Jenny I…” she thought he was going to continue, but then to her disappointment he only brushed her off.  Like he always did when she asked about anything important.  “Doesn’t matter.  Come on.  Time for lessons.”

He reached into his pocket and with a flick of his sonic, the image of the woman blinked out.

“Hey!” Jenny was growing more than a little irritated at him again, “I wasn’t done!”

“Leave it Jenny.   Time.  For.  Lessons,” he enunciated each word as his patience seemed to wane as well.

Instead of following him out of the room, Jenny just frowned and after a few swipes of her finger on the tablet, she had the image back up and was frantically reading through the rest of the data in the file.  She was only a few paragraphs in when he came storming back into the room, sonic whizzing and eyes blazing.

“Are you trying to get your sonic taken away?!  Because that’s where you’re headed, young lady,” he yelled as they proceeded into a furious battle of closing and opening the database, “I told you to leave it!  Bloody hell!  Why don’t you ever _listen_!?!”

“And I told you I want to know about her!  If you won’t talk to me, at least let me read her file!” Jenny was yelling again but she was too frustrated to reign herself back in at this point.  Oh her dad could drive her mad sometimes!  The stubborn git!

“What the bloody hell is so important about Rose Tyler anyway?!” he barked at her, temporarily getting the image turned off before Jenny made it flicker back on.

“I have the right to know -”

“You have no right, Jenny!  No right!” he roared, “You don’t even understand what you’re doing - what you’re asking of me!”

“Let me finish!” oh great and now she was crying and that made her voice go all squeaky.  Like that helped anything.  She abandoned the fanatic flicking on the tablet to stare at him, “I have the right to know about my own mum!”

She was so busy staring daggers at her insufferable father that she didn’t realize he had dropped his sonic until it clattered to the grating.  He broke her gaze and collapsed onto the jump seat, head in his hands.  “Is that what this is about?  That you don’t have a mum?  I know I’m rubbish at this Jenny, but I’m it.  We only have each other.  And I’m trying.  Really I am.  I just don’t know how to do this.”

Jenny set her tablet on the console and sat down next to him fiddling with a ring on her finger, “It’s not about you, dad.  Not everything always is,” she tried to joke, but he didn’t laugh.  She supposed now may not have been quite be the time.  Her dad wasn’t the only one who thought they were a bit rubbish at this relationship.  She continued more seriously, trying to make him understand, “She’s my mum.  I know it.  And she’s gone and I don’t even know why and I’ll never get to know her.  I just wanted to at least know _about_ her - what she was like, you know?  I just want, no…I _need_ to know where I come from.  It’s not because you’re not enough, dad.  You’re the best.  I’m so happy that you came back for me and that we’re traveling the stars with Donna and you’re teaching me how to be a proper Time Lady.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.  But there’s this piece of me, a whole part of me that I don’t understand.  And Dad, I really need to.”

She stared at her fingers, not quite knowing what to expect from her father.  She really couldn’t take him yelling at her again.  She was still so furious at him, but she was also guilty for making him so upset, and hurt at how he talked down to her, and sad that she’d never get to meet her mum - like there was a hole in her life that could never be filled.  It was just an awful lot to feel at once.  She wondered if Time Lord Lessons would ever cover how to deal with things like this.  Based on her father, she was pretty sure the answer to that was no.  

She finally raised her eyes to meet his and realized he looked nearly as emotionally exhausted as she was.  “Jenny, I’m sorry.  I don’t know what brought this up, and I don’t know why you think Rose is your mum, but I’m telling you it’s impossible.  Remember what I said about losing people?  It…hurts to look back, and that’s what I had to do just now.  That’s why I got so angry.”

“So you lost her?” Jenny asked.  She knew her mum wasn’t there with then, and to be honest she was a little afraid to know why.  But the question had come out before she could hold it in.

“Yeah,” her dad breathed out, the word laced with regret and pain.

“And you loved her?” 

“Jenny…” he warned.  

She just calmly repeated the question, “So you loved her, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he answered in barely above a whisper.  She recognized that his voice was doing the squeaky thing hers did a few moments ago.  

“I’m…I’m sorry Dad,” Jenny was sorry for herself too.  

“Yeah,” she was beginning to think her dad had become stuck in a time loop where he could only repeat that word, but then he continued, “She’s not your mum, Jenny.”  He sounded so tired.  He sounded just like Jenny felt. 

“No, but she is though.  I know it.  I…” Jenny got an idea and perked up slightly, “I can prove it!”

Her dad raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical.

“Ok, for starters, just look at me,” she started, priming him to allow her to do the test she wanted to, “I know you can see it, see her in me.  For the longest time I didn’t know why you got this funny look on your face when you looked at me sometimes, but I think that’s it.  I think sometimes I remind you of her.”

“Just because there are a few…similarities, it doesn’t mean anything, Jenny.  I’ve traveled with loads of people.  Sometimes they’re similar.  It’s bound to happen.  I had a feeling you weren’t paying attention during our logic lesson.  That’s not proof, Jenny.”

“You’re right, and neither is the fact that I’ve been having dreams about my creation.  Dreams where your hand glowed just slightly golden right as they were putting it in the cloning machine.  Dreams where all the words on every sign, label, and paper say one thing, just one thing.  They say Bad Wolf.” Her dad gasped and she knew she almost had him, “Then last night, it was the same dream, but this time it faded into a sort of garden place and mum was there.  She knew who I was and hugged me and we cried.  She said she wished it was real.  I woke up before I could tell her that I thought maybe it was.  So what do you say Dad?  It’s not proof but I reckon it’s enough to warrant a DNA test, don’t you?” Jenny finished.  She could easily run the test herself, but she’d rather do it with her father’s support.  She was obviously rubbish at sneaking around.

 

* * *

 

The Doctor stared at the machine as it hummed through an analysis of two very important DNA samples, one from a hair he found on Rose’s brush and one from a swab of his daughter’s mouth.  It would only take minutes, which he knew in theory was a short amount of time, but right now each second felt like a lifetime.  

He’d been so angry, so hurt when he saw Jenny rifling through Rose’s file.  Not only was seeing her image painful, but the thought of his daughter stumbling on something so private sent all his emotions flying.  Some things were too precious to share, even with his daughter.  He had considered his memories of Rose to be in that category.  But now…he wasn’t sure of much of anything.  The things Jenny said, of Rose being her mum, they were impossible.  And yet, how many times had Rose and Jenny both challenged the definition of that word.  It was impossible for Rose to have rescued him from that Dalek fleet.  It was impossible for Jenny to have come back to life without fully regenerating.  It was impossible that his daughter was having dreams about Bad Wolf.  And yet…all those things happened.  The fact that he would know for certain any moment now didn’t calm the wild speculation that was raging inside of his head.

And what if Jenny did have a mother and that mother was somehow Rose?  It was an equally alluring and painful possibility.  To have a part of Rose here, always with him…To have created such a remarkable person with the woman he loved, it would be…fantastic.  But at the same time, could he live with the constant reminder?  Could he live with knowing that every time Jenny reminded him of his lost Rose, it was because Jenny was made from a bit of her?  And what about Jenny?  He’d always wished her and Rose could have met, but if Rose was her mum, the idle wish would turn into a deep yearning.  A girl would never know her mother and a mother would never even know she had a daughter.  There was cruelty and blessings a plenty here.

Jenny’s timid voice brought him out of his whirring thoughts, “Dad?”

He turned to face her and saw that she was fidgeting with her rings again.  For all her conviction before, she now looked like a lost little girl.  “Yes Jenny?”

“Um…I’m kinda scared,” she whispered.

It took him three short steps and he was at her side pulling her into a one armed hug, “Me too,” he admitted, “We don’t have to do this.  I can stop the test.  Or I can save the results for later, for when you’re ready.”

Jenny shook her head, “No, I’m…I’m ready.  Or near enough.  It’s just…before, when I started looking into this, I didn’t realize you had loved her.  Don’t know why.  That’s kind of the norm, right?  Mums and Dads loving each other?  I think this is one of those things Donna talks about when she calls us ‘bloody aliens.’”

The Doctor chuckled recalling more than a few instances of that exact thing happening in the couple of months Jenny had been back, not to mention the hundreds of times Donna’s exasperation had been directed at him alone.

Jenny laughed a bit herself before continuing seriously, “What I mean is that I’m scared about how this is going to change what you think of me.  You’re my dad, and most of the time I feel like I still hardly know you, but I love you.”

“Jenny…” she talked over whatever he was going to say.

“And I know you love me too.  But you looked so…sad just seeing a picture of mum.  Am I going to make you sad all the time now?” Jenny sniffed and he realized she was trying hard not to cry.

He pulled her in to a full hug and kissed her on the top of the head, “Oh Jenny, you drive me mad with worry, make me happier than I’ve been in a long time, frustrate me to know end with your bloody cheek and inability to listen to anything I say, but sad?…No Jenny, I’ll never look at you and be sad.”

“Not even when you see mum in me?” she sniffed into his chest.

“Especially not then.  I won’t pretend to know what all this means, but I definitely know it’s a good thing.”

She shrugged out of the embrace, never one for hugs, his daughter, “Promise?”

“Yep,” he popped the P enthusiastically.  “No matter what the test says, you’re still my daughter, Jenny.  Nothing will change that.”

The machine dinged signaling the results were processed.  “Gods does everything with you have to ding?” Jenny joked nervously.

“Oi!  What’s wrong with a ding?  Ding’s a good thing! Ha!  Ding’s a good thing!  Could say that all day.” 

“Oh you’re mad, you are!” his daughter laughed.  Finally their laughter turned to chuckles and then they both quieted.  The very atmosphere in the room seemed to thicken with tension.

“You sure you’re ready?” he asked.

“Yeah.  Um…you?  Now that I know this doesn’t just affect me and all…” 

He smiled and held out his hand, “Allonzy.”  They pushed off the counter they were leaning against and slowly approached the DNA analyzer.  He flipped open the display screen and turned it towards Jenny, allowing her to be the first to know.  He studied her face with his heart in his throat as she scrutinized the readings.

Finally, Jenny smiled widely, “I knew it!”

He thought that somewhere in the back of his mind, he’d known it too.  Maybe since the beginning.

“Alright then Jenny Tyler,” He grinned wider, very much liking the sound of that, “Did I ever tell you about the time your mum and I were in London for the blitz?”

His daughter smiled, biting her lower lip and shook her head, “Well for starters, she wandered off before we had been there five minutes!  Almost worse than you, she was!  And oh, right out of a horror movie there was this creepy empty child…” he continued the story as they made their way to the library, finding it easy, and even a relief for the words he had kept closely guarded for so long to come spilling out.  He thought about a picture album Rose had kept of their travels and thought it was about time to brave a trip into her room to fish it out.  And who knew, maybe other impossible things were in store.  Maybe someday the remaining pages of the book would be filled with new adventures.    


End file.
